I look back at my days and think of how fast they go by. Why? I like to think it is because the world is spinning faster due to the gravitational pull of Jupiter, but I think it is simply the lives we all live have accelerated our concept of time. For some their lives go by slower because they do not have multiple distractions, but for me? For me I have a few such as school, family, technology, work, hobbies, friends, fitness, homes, cars, jobs, side business, eating, shopping, and so on. For others those factors spin the planet at a rate that turns a 24 hour day into a 12 hour day. Does it really? no, but it sure does feel like it. I have not been privy to sitting on the couch and “relaxing”. For some reason I feel that there is something….anything I can be doing.
I bring this upon myself. It is not that I enjoy stress because I am not stressed in any way, I simply feed off the excitement and energy of being like the energizer bunny…I keep going and going and and going. Then the crash comes. Yes, I have tried to run form the crash most of my life, but it sure has hit me hard in the last few months. I tried to juggle a 40 plus hour a week job, starting my own business, school three times a week, a relationship, and I attempted to squeeze in a small part time job two nights a week. Then Sunday afternoon came and BAM. I was go go go and sat down on the couch and my body literally said to me “listen buddy, if you don’t chill out I’m going to do more than just pass out”. So there I was on the couch. Asleep, in a deep sleep at that. I remember waking up a few hours later and the anxiety of having passed out and not having had”done” anything was overwhelming. What could I possibly have been done on a Sunday night that was so important? Write a paper for class, make ties, work out, walk the dogs, clean the house, go out to eat, go grocery shopping, do laundry, iron, do the dishes…I guess just a few things that could have been done.
I’m working on it, but at the same time I don’t want to 😉